Once upon a time when Archie was a wee 5 month old lump of baby chub I went back to my "career" job. 4 days a week, 8.30-5 in an office in the city...its safe to say that did not last long. The wheels well and truly fell off in our household and I had to take more days off work than I can remember because Archie was too sick to go to daycare. Still, I have always known I would never be content to be a housewife (while I fully recognise this as a job...a bloody hard job at that it was not a job that made me feel fulfilled) and this always left me feeling so conflicted. How could I be the kind of hands on, present mother I wanted to be while also making the time for myself to adult in a worky sense. I dreamt of all the kinds of jobs I could do at home. I have been making jewellery since I was 17 so this was my first plan. Sadly with neck issues this hobby led to almost daily migraines so my boxes of gems and jewels were packed away. I thought of doing book keeping (my previous back ground was in accounts) from home, looked in to courses I could do that would lead to careers I could work around kids, thought of pursuing photography ( I had previously spent two years studying this only to realise I hate taking photos of things I don't feel like photographing at that moment) the list goes on! All leading to this dream I had of the perfect Work at home mum life.
I have always been in to kids fashion, admittedly Archie did have allot of winnie the pooh outfits when he was a baby because instagram wasn't quite a thing yet but I enjoyed dressing him differently to other kids. So I first tried my hand at importing clothes and selling them. I was never quite happy with what I received vs what i ordered so the new dream became about teaching myself the skills I would need to make my own! I started with photoshop, then moved on to illustrator, watched endless tutorials and released my first line of screen printed tees! Which of course...no one wanted to buy ha ha. But if at first you don't succeed try try again! Over the last year (with the help of my mum) I have learnt my way around a sewing machine, patterns and everything in between. It seems I have finally reached that holy grail of being a work at home mum and what am I now dreaming about? A steady, drama free 9-5 job in the city ha ha ha. Go figure! It turns out this work at home mum life is the total opposite of glamorous ( I say as I sit outside with a cold coffee, a baby clawing at my unshaven legs, dirty knotty hair oh and look an inside out jumper). While it does mean I get to be at home with my kids all week excluding wednesdays which are my precious precious day care days it also means I tend to spend all weekend in my sewing room and not out with my friends or exploring with my family. During the week while everyone in my house is fast asleep I am usually at my machine or replying to emails at 1am. I am more impatient than I used to be, tired ALL the time and I enjoy my free time less because I am always stressing about the work I should be doing instead.
I bet there are allot of mums out there who actually do manage to balance it all and successfully work at home and raise kids but for all the messy as f*ck mums out there like me who drag themselves through each day waiting for the day it gets easier, throw your hands up in the air like you just don't...no put them down, you probably haven't shaven your pits or remembered deodorant today. We'll high five instead ;)
One day I will finally work out how to glamourise the shit out of this life but for now this is it and I guess at the end of the day I wouldn't change it for the world because look at that handsome little devil watching me work :)